Friday, August 15, 2008

Uninspired

Back, many moons ago, when I started to write consistently on this blog, I started out writing about spiritual things. I started out writing on Fridays only and it started with just spiritual issues I was thinking about. I was reading a ton of theology back then. Almost only theology. I was reading Brian McLaren, Donald Miller, NT Wright, Lee Camp, etc, etc. I was being exposed to a lot of new ideas that were outside of my experience and I used this blog as an outlet for a lot of that and as a result got to meet new friends (both "real life" and Web friends) and engaged in some serious dialogue with people about serious issues.

For some reason though, lately, I've felt singularly uninspired about spiritual things.

I've stopped reading a lot of theology (some manner of burnout, I suppose). Church governance and organization have become less interesting to me, even with the transition that Otter Creek is going through right now. It's almost as though in the last 3 years, this focus in my life on trying to figure out what it means to live as a follower of Jesus has been like trying to drink from a firehose and I've had to recently turn it off to catch my breath.

I've been exposed to a lot of new ideas over the last few years and it's convinced me that even seeing new ways of following Christ, I have a LONG way to go. There are calls on life that Jesus makes that, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I'm a strong enough follower or have enough faith to follow. Perhaps I love this life and the things of this world too much. What I don't want is to be one of those people who sees the way things could be in my own life and then just walks away from it, but perhaps I need to be satisfied with the "baby steps" that God is helping me through and take the ones I can.

Maybe I'm more like the rich young ruler than I want to admit. Maybe I'm more satisfied with the "ease" of Christianity than difficulty of following Jesus completely and wholly.

I don't know how much I'll be writing on Fridays right now. I might stop writing for a while. Taking breaks has often been good for me at times and this might be a good time to fast for a bit.

If you're a regular reader (I'm still not quite sure why someone would be), I appreciate you walking with me in this for however long you have. I would covet anyone's prayers as I ponder these things and take a breath from pondering them.

Pax.

4 comments:

Tony Arnold said...

I am with you on your feelings, across the board Phil.

I never did much theology or Christian commentary books anyway.

judy thomas said...

Ah, Phil,

You say good things whether you have anything to say or not. But whatever helps.

Brian said...

Hey Phil, don't beat yourself up, coz it doesn't change the amount that God loves you, or the level of his commitment to you.

I've been a Christian for almost all my life, and for most of my Christian life, I've tried to read the Bible almost every day. About a year ago, I realised that I've been reading it because I "had to" so that I would be a "good Christian", so now I've stopped reading it. Instead, I read blogs which have thought provoking content. I like the change of pace, and lightning hasn't struck me dead, so I guess I'm safe for the time being.

In the closed room at Penticost, there were 120 people, most of whom we don't know a thing about, but my guess is that they came from regular families with regular jobs, just like us today. They didn't know that they would be a part of one of the biggest changes in church history, they just did what seemed right at the time. That has to be enough for God, anything else is striving and works.

Brandon Scott said...

I love you, Phil...inspired or not. I always like hearing from you. :)

Template Designed by Douglas Bowman - Updated to Beta by: Blogger Team
Modified for 3-Column Layout by Hoctro