God Thing

OK, I feel a little weird sharing this, because in some ways I think it'll ruin my cynical Christian street cred, but here goes.

On Wednesday, I spoke at Otter Creek's Vespers service on the subject of sight, which I posted here. I went to church by myself that night so I could plug my iPod in and listen to whatever I wanted. I set the songs to shuffle and played My Top Rated playlist. I skipped a couple of songs and listened to a couple of others, then about halfway to church, U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For played. And not the standard version from The Joshua Tree, but the awesome version from Rattle and Hum with the Voices of Freedom gospel chorus backing up the band.

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well, yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

And it started getting me fired up some, because some of what I was talking about that night was reflected in the song.

Then the next song came up and it was the Michael W. Smith version of Rich Mullins' song "Everywhere I Go I See You" (which I'd really love our praise band at Otter Creek to do some time) .The lyrics were something that fit perfectly into what I was really struggling with in my talk.

Lord, You're leading me (Lord, You're leading me)
With a cloud by day (With a cloud by day)
And then in the night (And then in the night)
The glow of a burning flame (The glow of a burning flame)

And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)

And You take my hand (And You take my hand)
And You wash it clean (And You wash it clean)
I know the promised land (I know the promised land)
Is light years ahead of me (Is light years ahead of me)

And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)

Well, the eagle flies (Well, the eagle flies)
And the rivers run (And the rivers run)
I look through the night (I look through the night)
And I can see the rising sun (And I can see the rising sun)

And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And I see You, Lord, I see You

Well, the grass will die (Well, the grass will die)
And the flowers fall (And the flowers fall)
But Your Word's alive (But Your Word's alive)
And it will be after all (And it will be after all)

And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You
And everywhere I go, I see You

So I listen and just groove to that song until I get to the building. As I'm setting up the sound stuff for the night, Scott Owings is setting up the station stuff, and because I just listened to it, I'm singing "I See You" to myself, and he kind of looks over at me and says, "How did you know we're playing Rich Mullins during the station time?" And I'm just kind of blown away because this weird confluence of events have happened right before me.

So here's my thought... Am I crazy to believe that God orchestrated all of that? In some ways, I feel like I've stopped believing in Micro-predestination, the idea that God controls every aspect of your life in everyway from hitting the stoplight just right to the good space to the person you sit next to in the movie to stubbing your toe in the middle of the night. Part of the reason for this is that I can't imagine God being so concerned with that stuff that He's not trying to solve Darfur or the suffering of the poor. It seems that I don't think God is much of multi-tasker.

I fall much more into the Macro-predestination idea about big things being more orchestrated, family, spouse, kids. I'm one of those people who think that when two choices are presented and I hear someone ask, "What is God's Will for me in this?" my first thought is, "I'm not sure He cares; I think He wants us to be Jesus no matter what job or situation we are in." So there's a big part of me that looks at this situation and thinks, "Eh coincidence. Those songs just happened to play so no big deal."

What I will say is that I have been asking God for some tangible aspect of Himself to be made known to me. And maybe that blindness that I talked about on Wednesday has prevented me from seeing other things that are those tangible reminders of Him. And it was this night in a language that always speaks so powerfully to me (music) that sometimes maybe He does touch a hard drive and make a particular song come up that broke through my distractions and worries and remind me that there is something more going on outside of my comprehension.